I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
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so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
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I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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