are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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