just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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