Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML

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(202): i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML http://tfl.nu/7ngy

Replies (4) Good night (1184) Bad night (522)
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(817): View more from Texas

I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?

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(817): I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf? http://tfl.nu/ht45

Replies (15) Good night (4079) Bad night (987)
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(310): View more from California

The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.

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(310): The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss. http://tfl.nu/o71q

Replies (23) Good night (1405) Bad night (4859)
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(256): View more from Alabama

There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??

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(256): There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night?? http://tfl.nu/8e78

Replies (33) Good night (912) Bad night (2695)
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(516): View more from New York

Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.

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(516): Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning. http://tfl.nu/lzds

Replies (15) Good night (729) Bad night (5292)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am

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(719): Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am http://tfl.nu/os55

Replies (5) Good night (960) Bad night (1767)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK

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(570): She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK http://tfl.nu/qbz7

Replies (9) Good night (2836) Bad night (1061)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience

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(978): Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience http://tfl.nu/snc8

Replies (12) Good night (2646) Bad night (753)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning

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(615): Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning http://tfl.nu/j3ex

Replies (7) Good night (1342) Bad night (614)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid

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(405): I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid http://tfl.nu/bd90

Replies (6) Good night (1163) Bad night (744)
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(415): View more from California

Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.

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(415): Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces. http://tfl.nu/n65u

Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (1315)
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(619): View more from California

He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.

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(619): He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating. http://tfl.nu/k9pn

Replies (9) Good night (825) Bad night (2277)
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(807): View more from Ontario

She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.

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(807): She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other. http://tfl.nu/8wn6

Replies (16) Good night (1297) Bad night (568)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down

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(775): I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down http://tfl.nu/2bqj

Replies (2) Good night (857) Bad night (470)
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(419): View more from Ohio

So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.

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(419): So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall. http://tfl.nu/czve

Replies (3) Good night (959) Bad night (387)

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