I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
