I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
