Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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