We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have already put on my inside pants.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
