Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
