similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Randomize
