Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
