I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
