Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
