sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She's the barista slut.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
