I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
