is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
