If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
