Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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