When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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