dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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