Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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