yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
