I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
