remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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