matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
