check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
