Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
