just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
