I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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