I think im going to throw up on grandma
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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