just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
