I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
