Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
