I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize