you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
