if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
