no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
...so i touched it.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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