In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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