so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
