I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
