She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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