All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just saw a hot homeless man
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
