Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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