We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
There's even glitter on my cock...
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