Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
