Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
