actually, I'm a sock model
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
