yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
