the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
