I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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