just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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