So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
