and she was petting her beer can
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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