Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
