Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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