in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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