He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Enjoy the penises
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
