True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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