the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
