You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
