is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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