Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
