I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
