Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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