She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
